f-fwd idol: zzzz...the results

i'm glad american idol prepares contestants for the lip-syncing they'll be doing once they make it in the music business. really, why do they have to do these show choir numbers? (btw – in wisconsin, we called it swing choir. a little risque, no?)

okay mr. cowell, i'm usually "who cares that what simon's wearing" 'cause i'm all about casual friday and casual everyday, but tonight? you pulled that tacky white t-shirt out of the dirty laundry basket and don't try to tell me you didn't.

michael's daughter asked him "why don't you wanna be with me anymore?" because he's been away from home so long, and his reaction was sweet and all but i keep thinking about someone at war, you know? michael's coming home. he's coming home a loser, but he'll have all his limbs.

danny. safe. lil. safe ("thank you jesus.") anoop. safe buddy. allison & michael.

wow. paula abdul just said something kinda nice: "no matter who goes home, you're never going home because you're all changed people and home is a whole different place for you now." sounded nice when she said it. reading it sounds like they're going to be incarcerated at a cia black site in romania.

allison in the bottom three. michael whispered something to her, i didn't hear what it was. "you're a stupid orange-haired teenager and you deserve to fail miserably" maybe. woah...dude's in the bottom three too. shoulda kept yer mouth shut, buddy!

brad paisley: these country guys are always cuter when they're younger, no? if dude was a contestant he'd be in the bottom three. sorry pais'. hey, i could write country music. (derek, a countrified "at the beach"? thanks for the coffee, btw.)

ohhhh! blindy made it through and did a little blindy dance i had to watch over and over again! matt. close-up on the mole. close up on matt. the mole...matt. matt's through, the mole is going home.

kris is adorable. of course he's safe. alexis and adam. one is going home, right? i say alexis. ahh...randy gives adam away...it was a jeff buckley version of "ring of fire." allison is safe. i say alexis is goin' home.

carrie undermilkwood. and grampa pinocchio. oy, he's got a leer! he wants to eat her too! she sounds amazing. listen to that nice, big, long straight tone. no flipping around. and dead on the pitch.

the duet is just this side of oogy. he is legend material, i know. and, while it's a little uncomfortable watching him sing (bless) it's even more uncomfortable watching him sing a love song to his daughter. basically. now they're done. "kiss! kiss!" i'm yelling at the t.v. she's like, "dude, you kiss me i'm bitin' yer damn grampa tounge off."

okay, that's interesting and weird. the judges say they'll save one of these two final contestants (alexis or michael.) i can't quite grasp how that must make them feel.

natasha richardson. so, so sad. i never wear a helmet on my bike. i know, i know – don't send me messages about it.

michael is safe. alexis... so now she has to sing for her life. jesus! (sorry jesus) she's singing right to them, and they're all huddled up there. i know it's all theatre, but i'd be flipping out. that she can sing at all right now is pretty remarkable to me.

the answer is: no.

simon telling her, her reaction. this is a pretty real moment. she's awfully grown up. and seemingly, pretty grounded. good for her, i bet she goes far.

what? the president has pre-empted idol next week!? who the hell does he think he is, the president? ugh! president schmesident.