theisen to be oliver hardy at milwaukee rep

skylight opera theatre artistic director bill theisen will begin the 2010 season across town at the milwaukee repertory theatre as one half of "laurel and hardy," the opening show at the rep's stackner cabaret. rep regular gerry neugent will play stan laurel.

theisen, who has appeared in over 15 shows at the skylight (and directed 15 more) has performed for virtually every other theatre company in town including the milwaukee chamber theatre, first stage milwaukee, next act theatre, the florentine opera, theater x and others. this will be the first time the veteran milwaukee performer has appeared at the milwaukee rep.

is the rep's new artistic director mark clements the reason for the change? "he truly wants to hire more local performers," said theisen. "my being in laurel and hardy is proof of that."

clements caused a bit of a stir in the milwaukee theatre community when he announced the rep would open their 2010 main stage season with "cabaret," marking the first time the company has included a full-fledged musical in their schedule. theisen's outlook is decidedly upbeat: "i think the rep doing a musical is good for everyone," he said. "rep audiences – who might not attend musical theatre and enjoy 'cabaret' – may try coming to the skylight for the first time."

though he is fairly new to town, clements has already forged a good relationship with theisen and others. "i have had a few meetings with mark and like him very much. i think he is just what both the rep and milwaukee need."

is this the beginning of a beautiful friendship between the two companies?

"with mark and i working together, the possibility of much collaboration between the skylight and the rep seems very likely, which is fantastic for the milwaukee arts community."

the american premiere of tom mcgrath's "laurel and hardy" runs september 24 through november 14 at the rep's stackner cabaret.

the first "sunday" in milwaukee

stephen wormley as george and danielle scampini as dot. (photo by lauren stoxen.)

stephen sondheim and james lapine's "sunday in the park with george" has never been produced in milwaukee. until now. i was lucky enough to be asked to direct marquette university's production of the show, which opened last thursday. there are five more chances to see it - wednesday, april 21 thru sunday, april 25. get tickets here.

hello [insert your town here]!

look, i'm not stupid. i knew this kind of stuff happened. really. in fact, i've written a jingle or two (and even sold a couple.) so. i know.

but still. listening to this old wisn "hello milwaukee" tv spot just made me kinda warm and cozy and even a little sad.



until i saw this:



and this:



and... please. this one?



pittsburgh. disco.



and what is this?



ohhh... sneaky.



and even canada.

a day at the beach

milwaukee's bradford beach, circa 1954. photograph by everett harding.

the beer belly of america

floating sheep shows us the places in the u.s. (in red) where there are more bars than grocery stores. one guess which state is completely covered.

(hat tip sullivan)

there's a new kid in town

well, sorta. damien jaques' first weekly column for onmilwaukee.com includes an o'neill review, a chat with the milwaukee rep's new boss, and a brief wrap-up of the big tuesday night skylight shindig:

After surviving its summer from hell, the Skylight Opera Theatre launched its 50th season Tuesday night with a mini-Woodstock –- five solid hours of non-stop performances. Some of them were quite spectacular...

read jaques' whole column here.

quote of the day

"No, it's not true that 'Cash for Clunkers' is the official name of the Milwaukee Journal/Sentinel's buyout program."

– tim cuprisin
milwaukee journal/sentinel

today is the last day for the milwaukee journal/sentinel's arts and media writers, damien jaques, tim cuprisin, and tom strini, over 70 years experience among them.

i think this guy likes us

an op-ed by milwaukee's own damien jaques, written a week or so ago during one of the many crests of the skylight opera theatre saga, didn't get the attention it deserved.

in it, jaques reminds us that artists, milwaukee artists, actually do actually matter:

Milwaukee and Wisconsin reached a critical mass of stage talent in the 1980s, and like nuclear fission, the energy has happily continued to spark and feed on itself for more than two decades.

Outstanding theater artists who could work anywhere, including New York, decided to settle here, sink roots, buy houses, send their children to our schools, pay taxes. We developed a reputation for being a welcoming community with good, artist-friendly stage companies that received strong box office and fund raising support. Artists were respected and even cherished here.

It should come as no surprise that these favorable conditions affected what we saw on stage. A good work environment inspires the best in people and attracts others of superior talent.

you know, i think this guy likes us.

this jaques fellow and i had a wee squabble a few years back – quite polite, nothing too serious, mind you, just a friendly tiff – over a review he'd written about a play i'd been planning to see. the play starred many of my dear, dear friends, and i was anxious to know what to say of their performances should i be forced to greet them at the stage door after the show.

this is the basic reason i read most theatre reviews: to memorize a line or two i can toss out post-performance while in the midst of hugging a sweaty ingenue. good or bad, it doesn't matter – i am a master at manipulating a review quote to make it seem perfectly appropriate, whatever the circumstances: "i thought you did so much more than posing, mary-ann!" or "goodness gary, you were better than broadway!" or my personal favorite, "oh, henry! i don't really think every quart of milk in a ten mile radius curdled when you began to sing!" and jaques' reviews were the best, a veritable fountain of stage door compliments, most of which i didn't even have to alter, except for the words i couldn't pronounce.

however, after reading this jaques' review – which contained a mere three sentence, one paragraph mention of which actors played which roles – i was stumped. jaques' article said nothing of the actor's accomplishments, nothing of the director's staging, it only listed their names (many of which i already knew, save that tall man with the beard.) that, and some cheap talk of a few pretty lights, a sharply focused gobo, some painted flats, and a pleasant curtain speech was all i got.

what was i to do?

i'll tell you what i did, i didn't go to see the play. i couldn't! instead, i sent a pissy little letter to the milwaukee journal/sentinel saying something incredibly wry, like, "after reading mr. jaques' lengthy review of "bladdy-blah-hoo-ha", i have no earthly idea if he thinks i should attend a performance of it or not. please tell mr. jaques for me, if i was interested in reading a book report on playwright applejack mc-twoshoes, i would have paid a visit to the local library." in my head, i pronounced "library" in that snotty, upper crust, british way - libry. libry. fuh-fuh. take that mr. reviewer guy, i thought.

several weeks later, i heard through a friend of a friend that jaques actually felt bad about the letter i'd sent.

"he read it!?" i shouted, incredulously.

"yes, and he felt quite bad."

being the stone cold, hard-as-a-rock, iceberg man that i am, i wept. immediately i felt a walloping sense of guilt for making the man feel bad.

"really? bad? he felt bad?"

"yes." i was told. "quite bad."

oh man.

cripes.

i didn't mean to make anyone feel bad.

oh hell.

so a day or so later i called him. i called damien jaques on the telephone and we talked about that horribly written review. after giving him a heartfelt apology (that i'd memorized earlier that day from a dear abby column in jaques' own newspaper) i decided to cut to the heart of the matter. "why, jaques!?" i demanded, "why did you write such a lame, flaccid review in the first place?"

"tony," he said – trying to butter me up by using my first name, a trick he learned, no doubt, from his days slumming with the likes of clair richardson – "i didn't think it was a very good production."

ah-ha! settled, i thought! finally, i had the truth! i pounced: "why the devil didn't you put that in the review, you dunderhead!" i may not have said dunderhead.

"because i have such great respect for all those people, every one of those actors, and the director, i just...i couldn't bring myself to write in a review what i really thought about the show. so i only talked about the things i liked."

now, you might be sitting there in milwaukee, relaxing in your boxers with your cat yawning at your side, and you might be reading this delightful anecdote thinking, "well the bastard didn't seem to mind giving me a crappy review for my performance in ziggity-do-dah-day!" and you're right. he did give you a crappy review. someday we'll talk about your stale, lifeless performance in ziggity-do-dah-day, but save that for another occasion. your birthday. purim.

apparently this production (and boy, am i'm going to get mail) was just so damned horrid, jaques couldn't do it. he couldn't bring himself to write that scathing, awful review.

because he cared too much about those actors.

and you know what i thought?
i thought, "i like this guy."

youth is not wasted on the young...

there have been many positive things to emerge from milwaukee's skylight mess. here's one of them: this sunday, july 26th, from 10-11:30 am, an enourmous group of college and high school age actors, singers, dancers and artists will converge in the third ward's catalano square.

if you're young, you wanna be there. i'm, of course, back in new york city, and it would be difficult to get a flight, and driving, well, i'd never make it in time, and gas is so expensive...(shut. up. you.)

ATTENTION: COLLEGE AND HIGH SCHOOL ARTISTS WHO CARE ABOUT THE FUTURE OF THE ARTS IN MILWAUKEE.

For a month now we have watched and listened as our mentors and role models have bravely stood for their personal values and artistic principles. Their example has inspired us. We share their regard for the arts community in Milwaukee. A community which has fired in us a love of the work, a passion to improve, and an impulse to raise our voices for good. A community in which the talented professionals who are our teachers have truly cared about what we think and feel.

This kind of an environment doesn’t just happen. And it could easily be lost.

It is time for us to take our part in the positive dialogue underway about the future of our arts community. This is not about tearing down. It’s about building up.

What kind of a community do we want to grow into and grow up in? How can we learn about facilitating good business, budget, artistic vision, and the message too? What can we do now to help? How can we find our own voice?

Please join us for a “meet and greet” and a discussion of all the above and more at Catalano Square near the BTC this Sunday, July 26, 10:00 - 11:30 am. (Catalano Square just seems to be the easiest place for us to meet). The idea is to start a forum for new artists and art lovers to share our thoughts, stay updated on events, and join together for positive action. And invite all your friends!

--Elyse Edelman and Ryan Stajmiger

the dearest of deer

biking 30 of the 100 or so miles of milwaukee county's oak leaf bike trail today, i came across these two hanging out in oak creek parkway with mom nearby.

hefty/miller respond to guest artists

skylight board president suzanne hefty and immediate past president howard miller have responded to a letter sent by 35 skylight guest artists, designers, directors and technicians regarding the company's restructuring, and the elimination of the position of artistic director.

Date: July 2, 2009
From: Suzanne Hefty, President, Board of Directors
Howard Miller, Immediate Past President, Board of Directors
To: Skylight Opera Theatre Guest Artists

Jordan Ahnquist, actor
Johnna Allen, actor
Liz Baltes, actor
Peter Dean Beck, scenic and lighting designer
Alicia Berneche, actor
Lisa Brescia, actor
Gary Briggle, actor
BJ Cannon, actor
Peter Clark, actor
Niffer Clarke, actor
Tony Clements, actor
Cynthia Cobb, actor
James Coleman, actor
Parrish Collier, actor
Lisa Dames, actor
Dottie Danner, director
Ilana Davidson, actor
Michael Deleget, actor
Donna Drake, director
Annmarie Duggan, lighting designer
Colm Fitzmaurice, actor
Stacey Galloway, costume designer
Michelle (Smith) Gisondi, actor
Ken Goldstein, scenic designer
Rob Hancock, actor
Benjamin Howes, actor
Takeshi Kata, scenic designer
Tari Kelly, actor
Rachel Laritz
Joanne Lessner, actor
John Muriello, actor
Rick Rasmussen, scenic and costume designer
Van Santvoord, scenic designer
Josh Schmidt, sound designer
Donald St. Pierre, music director
Jennifer Swiderski, actor
Rita Thomas, actor
James Valcq, actor
Andrew Wilkowske, actor
Branch Woodman, actor

July 2, 2009

Dear Skylight Opera Theatre Guest Artists:

Thank you for writing your letter to Skylight Opera Theatre’s Board of Directors, received by email on June 25, 2009, in response to the theatre company’s recent structural reorganization. We take your concern for the Skylight very seriously and have attempted to address your key questions here.

We acknowledge that the handling of the restructuring, position eliminations and the subsequent public response should have been handled differently and that the underlying reasons were not spelled out in sufficient detail in advance of the announcement. As the economy and our budget allow, we will continuously review the Skylight’s business model. However, please know that this heartbreaking and difficult decision will not be reversed.

The restructuring was a proactive decision which, had we not undertaken would have brought us to an untenable financial situation. Cash flow has been a constant struggle at the Skylight for four years as the company has gone from having a $200,000 cash surplus to a debt of $414,000 (as of June 30, 2009). In 2005-2006, we were forced to open a line of credit, using the Broadway Theatre Center building as collateral, to cover payroll, vendor expenses, production costs and general operating needs. In the past year, Skylight’s restricted endowment has declined by 25%.

In January 2009, the first attempt was made to establish a projected balanced budget for the 2009-2010 season. We subsequently learned of a 15% reduction in UPAF’s fundraising goal and declining grants from foundations and corporations. The Skylight’s overdependence on contributed revenue required an immediate analysis of the theatre’s cost structure in producing shows. Without a critical review of our personnel structure, we risked severely impacting the performance quality Skylight audiences have come to expect. Economists are projecting no significant change in contributed income patterns through 2010, adding additional pressure to our future needs.

The Broadway Theatre Center (BTC) is owned and operated by the Skylight. Built in 1993, this theatre and office complex has been home or provided performance space to numerous non-profit, for-profit and theatre companies. Though the BTC was originally a source of revenue, the 16-year-old buildings are now a major expense.

Everything from the roof, heating and cooling system, sidewalks, bathrooms, office space and theatres themselves are in need of attention. The production and administrative staff, with input and direction from the Board, has implemented significant cuts in the last three seasons. Everything from paper usage to lumber and climate control has been analyzed from a cost-savings perspective. As
some staff positions became vacant, they were not filled; their duties were absorbed by other staff members. Examples include our production manager taking on the facility director’s responsibilities, our development director assuming management of the bar, and our development coordinator administering special events and rentals.

We have also brought previously outsourced duties in-house, including the design of most of our marketing materials and website. We have also worked to find new sources of revenue. For instance, the Skylight’s administrative offices were moved to previously vacant BTC office space in order to provide tenant space for two non-profit theatre companies. Through this series of expense reductions, the utmost attention was paid to avoid affecting the daily operations of our artistic department. The artistic department remained the last significant pool of resources to be evaluated; we could not insulate this department from the financial realities any longer.

The artistic director and company manager were involved in budgeting discussions as members of the senior staff. We acknowledge your wish to have been included in these discussions. While attempts at better communication will be made in future seasons, certain aspects of the theatre company governance must be handled by Skylight staff and Board only.

Because we acknowledge the important responsibilities of the artistic director and company manager, we knew that these tasks had to be formally combined with other job titles. The Executive Committee approached Managing Director Eric Dillner and, with knowledge of his past artistic leadership, asked him to assume the artistic management of the organization. The duties of the company manager, box office manager, box office assistant manager and custodian will be spread throughout the company ensuring timely and effective attention to each task and responsibility. We have great confidence in Eric’s general and artistic management abilities.

The next few seasons will present new challenges and opportunities as the Skylight continues to adapt its business model to the changing economy. We firmly state that the Skylight’s artistic vision has not changed. The Skylight’s mission as a non-profit, professional performing organization is to bring the full spectrum of music theatre works to a wide and diverse audience.

We respect Bill Theisen greatly and appreciate your loyalty to him. We learned yesterday that he has accepted our offer to contractually stage direct The Barber of Seville, Plaid Tidings and The Marriage of Figaro and to write and stage direct The Long and Short of It. Though we offered Bill a contract for a fifth production, he has chosen to accept work elsewhere during that timeframe.

We are passionate about the Skylight and have personally invested significant time, energy and financial resources to the success of the company. We invite each of you to help the Skylight succeed in any way you can.

Sincerely,

Suzanne Hefty
President, Board of Directors

Howard Miller
Immediate Past President, Board of Directors


the original letter sent from skylight guest artists:


Dear Mr. Dillner and members of the Board,

The recent restructuring of Skylight Opera Theatre, which has made news both nationally and locally, has given us cause for concern. As Guest Artists at Skylight, we have been impressed with the passion and integrity that is brought to bear on every facet of each production. It is a well-run, successful organization that cares deeply about the quality of its product. It is also a place where artists from all over the country can come and apply their craft, knowing that their contributions will be welcome, respected, and celebrated.

We understand the financial effect that has been felt at Skylight. It has been felt at theatres all across the country. Certainly steps needed to be made to ensure that Skylight, Wisconsin’s premier home for Musical Theatre, would remain sound and continue to present the highest caliber offering possible.

But surely this move to drastically restructure is one that could have been avoided. If there had been communication in open meetings rather than behind closed doors, certainly compromises could have been made, other ideas could have been discussed and, with the collective minds working towards the collective good, another solution could have been found.

It is a grave choice to eliminate the artistic head of an organization, especially one as dedicated, hard-working, and outstanding as Bill Theisen. Under his leadership, Skylight has garnered some of the best press and public reviews of its 50-year history. He has raised the bar artistically and has also been the face of Skylight for the public in a way few have. His history with the theatre is unlike anyone else’s connected to it.

Additionally, a theatre the size of Skylight which produces as much as Skylight does, cannot run efficiently without a Company Manager. The Company Manager is one of the most important positions in any theatre. The care and organization of everything having to do with not only the Guest Artists, but also the local artists, arranging travel, securing housing, issuing contracts, scheduling auditions, the daily ins and outs of the staff, communications with many vendors, and the complete oversight of all that happens within the walls of Skylight come from the desk of the Company Manager. The impression of a theatre can be made or ruined by a Company Manager. Absorbing ALL of these duties and the Artistic Director duties is untenable.

Shortsighted would be an understatement for these actions. But it is not too late. Before the integrity of Skylight suffers further in the eyes of the local theatergoers and donors, and in the eyes of those of us around the country who happily and eagerly accept offers to come to Skylight; before the reputation that Skylight has enjoyed around the country because of the Guest Artists, who faithfully and happily recommend Skylight to friend and peers, begins to suffer, we, the undersigned, petition you to explain why these decisions were made, why they were communicated so poorly, why a plan that appears to have such great conflict of interest and very little support from the stakeholders was allowed to move forward. We ask you to reconsider the changes made, to find new solutions to the financial problems, and continue the artistic excellence that Skylight has enjoyed under Bill Theisen’s tenure.

Most Sincerely,

Jordan Ahnquist, actor (South Pacific, White Christmas)

Johnna Allen, actor

Liz Baltes, actor (Anything Goes, A Grand Night for Singing, Animal Crackers, Blues in the Night)

Peter Dean Beck, scenic and lighting designer

Alicia Berneche, actor

Lisa Brescia, actor (The Last Five Years)

Gary Briggle, actor (Sweeney Todd, The Threepenny Opera, Hansel and Gretel, A Talent to Amuse, Let’s Misbehave, Iolanthe, The Mikado, Patience, Pirates of Penzance)

Peter Clark, actor (Pirates of Penzance ’09)

Niffer Clarke, actor (Pirates of Penzance ’09, Patience, Tintypes)

Tony Clements, actor (Floyd Collins, Hello Dolly, Guys and Dolls, Falsettos, Wings, and 10 other shows, former Resident Artist)

Cynthia Cobb, actor

James Coleman, actor (The Threepenny Opera, The Turn of the Screw)

Parrish Collier, actor (The All Night Strut, Smokey Joe’s Café)

Lisa Dames, actor (Triumph of Love)

Ilana Davidson, actor (Candide, The Jewel Box)

Donna Drake, director

Annmarie Duggan, lighting designer

Colm Fitzmaurice, actor (The Mikado, Midnight Angel, Tartuffe)

Michelle (Smith) Gisondi, actor (The Mikado, The Most Happy Fella, Sweeney Todd, The Three Penny Opera, A Funny Thing . . ., Little Shop of Horrors, A Couple of Holiday Ho-Ho’s)

Ken Goldstein, scenic designer (Animal Crackers, Smokey Joe’s Café, Blues in the Night)

Rob Hancock, actor (A Funny Thing . . . Forum, Lady Be Good, Hello Dolly, former Resident Artist)

Benjamin Howes, actor (A Funny Thing. . . Forum, Lady Be Good, Little Shop Of Horrors, Animal Crackers)

Takeshi Kata, scenic designer (Madam Butterfly, Abduction from the Seraglio, The Tragedy of Carmen, La Traviata)

Tari Kelly, actor (And the World Goes Round, Triumph of Love, Chicago)

Joanne Lessner, actor (Pirates of Penzance , A Little Night Music)

John Muriello, actor

Rick Rasmussen, scenic and costume designer

Van Santvoord, scenic designer (Don Pasquale, The Turn of the Screw, Don Giovanni, The Christmas Schooner, Little Women, Tartuffe, The Midnight Angel, The Barber of Seville, The Marriage of Figaro)

Josh Schmidt, sound designer

Donald St. Pierre music director

Jennifer Swiderski, actor (South Pacific)

Rita Thomas, actor (South Pacific)

James Valcq, actor (over 40 shows since 1970)

Andrew Wilkowske, actor (Figaro in 2009-10 The Barber of Seville & The Marriage of Figaro, La Traviata, Hansel and Gretel, Iolanthe, Don Giovanni, The Barber of Seville 1999, Don Pasquale)

Branch Woodman, actor (The World Goes Round, The All Night Strut, Chicago, Tintypes, Smokey Joes Cafe [also Dance capt], White Christmas [also assist choreographer and dance capt])

theisen doing "what's best for me..."

...and others need to do what's best for them."

bill theisen, the recently fired artistic director of milwaukee's skylight opera theatre has agreed to return to direct four of the five shows he had been scheduled to direct prior to the company's sudden restructuring, but possibly (and quite publicly) not for the reasons managing director eric dillner and board president suzanne hefty had in mind:

"I don't feel very celebratory about the company," Theisen said. "I will try to stay neutral and do the job at hand. I'm doing what's best for me, and others need to do what's best for them."

Theisen, who is at the University of Iowa directing a revue, said several performers had called to say that they would refuse to step on the stage if he chose not to direct at the Skylight next season. He didn't want that.

"This really is the best decision for me because I've already put so much work into the two operas," he said. "The designs are done and all the casting is done."

While he did not encourage further agitation, neither did he suggest that the protest should end.

"I want to thank everyone who has supported me," he said. "I was truly overwhelmed."

theisen's comments are as important for what they don't say, as what they do.

the continuing combustion

the big skylight theatre/milwaukee journal-sentinal pow-wow that happened last wednesday – an interview with skylight managing director eric dillner, board president suzanne hefty, past president howard miller and skylight marketing director kristin godfrey – produced some big scary financial numbers, some whining and groveling, and a couple of real doozies.

like this, from hefty:

"We knew [the company's restructuring, including firing artistic director William Theisen] would be an unpopular decision, but we didn't anticipate the pace or the tone. The social media response caught us off guard.

We need to get our message out that we're trying to manage through a recession and that the artistic vision of the Skylight hasn't changed at all. We haven't done that well; we will establish forums for conversation and explanation."

hefty, dillner and miller knew the decision would be so unpopular they didn't even inform the rest of the skylight's board of directors. and someone might remind hefty and miller that the artistic vision for the company comes from the artistic director. what's dillner going to do from now on, ask himself WWBD (what would bill do?)

after completely gutting the company of its entire artistic staff – the resident music director, the artistic associate/company manager, and the artistic director – it's almost sick-making that the words "artistic vision" would even come out of hefty's mouth.

but this is especially rich:

Dillner, Hefty and Miller acknowledged that they handled Theisen's departure badly and that it led to the continuing combustion. They would have handled things differently, especially since they ardently hope that Theisen will return on a freelance basis to direct three main stage shows and two studio shows next season. They need him for artistic and box office reasons, and they need his calming presence.

The plot of this drama will turn next on whether Theisen will help the company that pushed him out the door last week.

in other words: theisen must come in and save the day, and if the skylight fails without him, it's partly his fault.

this is pathetic, reprehensible behavior. if william theisen were to never set foot in the skylight theatre again, there would be no person who could or should blame him. dillner, hefty and miller are responsible for this mess, and they should bear the consequences of their decision.

over easy please

over the summer, the milwaukee theatre community will hold a weekly breakfast to discuss art in the city, the first being this friday at 8:00 am in catalano square, just south of the broadway theatre center.

while no specific agenda has been planned, attendees are encouraged to talk about their favorite ray jivoff performance. or awards. or the skylight restructuring.

or that ray jivoff thing.

artsy schmartsy has the details.

iran: immediate and intense

as some in milwaukee are discovering the heft and value of social media in debate, discussion, and instant communication – through an enormous email list maintained by jim fletcher, through facebook, and through blogging – the opposition in iran has utilized, to stunning effect, the social media you haven't quite figured out yet: twitter.

now andrew sullivan (yes, i'm a fan) is live-blogging today's events in iran using a combination of raw twitter feeds from protesters, and his own soup of scouring cnn, reuters, etc. for any bits of information in real time.

it's a fascinating, and starteling mix of immediate information.

quote(s) of the day

"Whenever crowds gather with signs to greet a singing sensation, I'm there."

– james valcq
before the danny gokey parade passes by
milwaukee, wi

"His limo zoomed by and I barely caught a glimpse. Waiting for Gokey was more like Waiting for Godot"

– james valcq
after the gokey parade route is altered

frontega homeless and cheese

i'm in milwaukee, at panera bread, ordering my "usual" -- half a frontega chicken sandwich and a cup of creamy tomato soup (which happens to be vegetarian creamy tomato soup although i don't order it because it's vegetarian, i mean, obviously -- the chicken sandwich) when suddenly, another customer mysteriously appears from somewhere inside the restaurant and interrupts to speak to the delightful but curiously large asian man/boy taking my order.

the customer whispers something in man/boy's ear while carefully gesturing toward the back of the restaurant. "you're serious?" man/boy says. the customer grimaces, nods, and slips back into the mist.

moments later, as i'm waiting for my order, i hear a shrill, trumpet-like voice from behind the counter: a saucy teenage girl (as saucy as teenage girls get in wisconsin) announces to her fellow employees "okay are you ready for this?" all the employees immediately stop what they're doing to listen to her. this girl has power. customers stop chewing. birds stop chirping. the muzak pauses. there is now complete and utter silence for what promises to be the announcement of the decade.

"there's a homeless guy in the bathroom, pants down, asleep on the toilet," saucy says.

no one moves.
birds stand still.

"ohmygod what?! what did you say?" another employee mumbles.

"homeless guy in the bathroom. pants down. asleep on the toilet." she reiterates, full trumpet-voice.

there's a beat of silence. then a quiet but extended groan from the customers, the birds, and the other employees, including the skinny guy ladling out my creamy tomato soup. "did anyone tell chris?" skinny says, as he drops cheesy asiago croutons in my soup (i usually ask for extra croutons, but i'm trying to slim down a bit.) "chris is not gonna be happy."

"i know," saucy says, "this is the second time today."

as i enjoy my chicken sandwich and tomato soup, i watch poor chris mope off toward the men's room, shaking his head in disgust, and i think to myself, "ahhh, feels just like home." of course in new york, it wouldn't be only the second time.

shameless frog-promotion

there's this, and then there's this:



(in this video: brian gill, john maclay, paul helm, courtney jones, beth mulkerron, alec aldred, and the ensemble of first stage milwaukee's "a year with frog and toad".)

UPDATE 4/25/08 -- well, the great reviews keep on coming. here's a few snippets (click on the links to read the entire review.)

MILWAUKEE JOURNAL-SENTINEL: "The very best theater for children manages to reach audience members of all ages. Such is the case with First Stage Children's Theater's latest production, the musical "A Year with Frog and Toad."

THE SHEPHERD EXPRESS: "Brian Gill makes for a delightful frog. His pliant figure lends itself well to the role; his cheeriness appears ingenuous rather than irritating. Toad, played by John Maclay, has a more ticklish temperament—the perfect foil to Frog’s perkiness. In fact he’s almost Beckettian in his improbable anxieties..."

VITAL SOURCE MAGAZINE: "From the first moments of song, where Toad, Frog, and Bird chorus sing, “Spring isn’t spring, not without you,” every detail of the production enhances the experience... The simple elegance of this performance underscores the importance of children’s theater while revealing a straightforward message... As this First Stage production marvelously portrays, anyone would be fortunate to discover the priceless gift of friendship..."

THE WAUKESHA FREEMAN: "Some of the entertaining vignettes include the raking incident, the self-conscious swim, the cookie orgy, the letter writing and delivery, the scary sled ride, Toad’s first attempt at gardening and the story hour. Each was so delightful that it would be hard to pick a favorite."

MILWAUKEE MAGAZINE: "The show’s strengths are, well, its charm and simplicity. There’s plenty of that in the new production by First Stage Children’s Theatre...Director Tony Clements is a music theater veteran, and he knows how to keep things springing right along."

"Paul Helm, however, gets the big show-stopper, playing a snail who takes quite a long time to deliver a letter. Helm’s got an aw-shucks manner and a sweet, high tenor that’s easy on the ears. But when he lets loose, it’s a hotcha Broadway moment, bringing smiles to kids and grumpy grownups alike."

the chocolate nazi

a nice article about my old friend jim fetzer, milwaukee's chocolate nazi. i've known jim for nearly 20 years, he makes some of the best chocolate i've ever tasted, and as a bonus, he regularly pisses off milwaukee's northshore nancies. if you're in milwaukee, you need to pay him a visit. however, leave your fur coat at home, turn off your g.d. cell phone, and take off your dirty f-ing shoes before you go in. and don't bring young children.

UPDATE 4/8/08 -- jim? no northern chocolate website? "i'm a luddite," he claims. alas, no website. but if you're jonesin' for a mint meltaway or a chocolate otter, there is a business phone, and (i'm pretty sure) he will ship to you: 414-372-1885. if you call, expect to hear "jim here" or "yeah?" or "no free samples."

massive quantities

it's snowing in wisconsin. it's been snowing all day. it's gonna keep snowing. and you gotta love this, from the national weather service:

"storm totals of 12 to 18 inches are expected around the milwaukee metro area, with isolated higher amounts possible."

aaand...welcome home.

as of 5 p.m. there were over 220 plows trying to clear the streets, mitchell international airport is closed, and play practice at first stage milwaukee was called off. more importantly, friday fish fries around the city have been cancelled.

and if those snowfall projections hold, this could be the second snowiest winter in milwaukee history, with a total of over 94 inches for the season.

by the way, right now that season is spring.

UPDATE 3/22/08 -- it's official. 95.4 inches.