the emmy photos: blake ginther

this is blake ginther and somebody's emmy award.

blake sent this photo a few months back, over a crappy phone. i felt bad when i got it, because i thought, "gee, it's a cute photo and all. and he is holding an emmy award, there's no doubt. but the quality of the photo is so bad..."

today i thought, "oh hell, who cares."

so here is blake ginther holding someone's emmy. i don't even know whose emmy it is, maybe blake will write in and tell us. it certainly isn't blake's emmy, i know that much.

blake has an extremely sensitive bowel system. which is concerning, because right now blake is off somewhere, singing on a boat. for a very long time. but in reality, i guess you can have sensitive bowels and be on a boat for a long time and do okay. not sure what i was thinking there. maybe the singing part threw me off. he has a very pretty wife who is off somewhere singing on a boat too. they used to live in new york, but for right now they live on a boat. when they get off the boat, they'll go to north carolina or some shit.

blake has won many awards for playing card games like hearts and spades, and for counting cards and stealing the deal, and although he is good at card games, he sucks at pillow fights.

(click here to send in your (high-quality) photo of you with an emmy.)

the emmy photos: jeff ircink

jeff ircink giving bruce johnson's emmy awards a smooch.

both of bruce johnson's emmy awards are for the children's animated television series "tutenstein." jeff is an actor, playwright, blogger, and closet republican who resides in california for the time being. he is an avid fisherman, a bit of a curmudgeon, and has a massive man-crush on brett favre. in high school jeff was awarded the patty villa award, and could not hold his liquor at newspaper layout parties.

the emmy photos: ashley kemp

this is ashley kemp, having a secret moment with christine lahti's emmy.

ashley is a talent scout for a nashville, tennessee modeling and acting school. she has lovely, long brown hair and a wonderful singing voice. she's won many awards in her lifetime, but is reluctant to talk about them. by the way, don't tell christine lahti that ashely took this photo, and don't tell lahti's husband thomas schlamme that ashley snapped a photo with his oscar.

the emmy photos: roger bean

this is roger bean. he's fondling swoozie kurtz's emmy.

swoozie kurtz has been nominated for nine emmy awards, but she's won only once, for an appearance on carol burnett's short-lived 1990 series "carol and company." roger has not been nominated for an emmy award (yet) but has several l.a. ovation awards, a bowling trophy from a 1977 kenosha bowl-a-thon for muscular dystrophy, and a swimming medal from the sixth grade.

the emmy photos: katy blake

katy blake with the original inspiration: my friend barry's emmy.

friends have started sending me photos of themselves with emmy awards. taunting me, i suppose. "look, here i am with an emmy" or "i have an emmy, do you?" it's funny. i guess they think i'll be jealous or something. huh.