"the best color man in college basketball"

clark kellogg and verne lundquist had a little company in the broadcast booth at today's duke-georgetown game.

Mr. Obama even handled some color commentary himself on a replay: "This was a terrific spin move and he didn't get any help coming back."

"That's well done," said Kellogg. "You can handle this job if you need to. Obviously, you've got one that's requiring a lot of your time and attention."

"After retirement, I'm coming after your job, partner," Mr. Obama said. "Just to let you know. You either have three more years, or seven, I'm not sure which, but you need to plan accordingly, since I'm going to do some play-by-play."

Mr. Obama was also treated to a replay of himself on the court. Let's go to the videotape: "That's heartbreak right there, oh," he sighed.

Verne Lundquist asked if the president, a left-hander, had any problems going to his right.

"I went to the Republican House Caucus just yesterday to prove that I can go to my right once in a while," he said, "but there is no doubt that I've got a stronger left hand."

let's go to the videotape:

"i probably should have ran it...

...I don't know how far I could have gotten."

it's that time of year

spring must be near: brett favre is retiring.

young and foolish

michael phelps has had a week long mea culpa for smoking pot at a college party during his three months off from swimming. i sincerely doubt that smoking pot before, during, or after getting in the pool enhances phelps' performance in any way. (it might make it more wacky, i don't know: "wow, dude! i'm underwater! i'm high and i'm underwater!") phelps couldn't very well deny it: some upstanding young college republican student* took photos and sold them to a british tabloid! (when do we get to meet him?)

on the other hand, the new york yankees' alex rodriguez has spent a long time now denying using any kind of performance enhancing drugs. oops. until today. today, in an interview with espn, a-rod finally fessed up:

“Back then it was a different culture. It was very loose. I was young, I was stupid, I was naïve.”

hey, a-rod, what about last week, when you were still denying using performance enhancing drugs? what about this interview with katie couric, from 2007? (or wait. were you loose, stupid and naïve then, too?)



as someone who was once loose, young, stupid, naive, and a number of other things, i can relate to feeling pressured into giving "the right" answer and, well...bending the truth. or ignoring it altogether. can't we all? but once you decide to...well, to not be stupid and naive anymore, one would hope you can take responsibility for not only your mistakes, but for the dishonesty in covering up those mistakes.

*c'mon – you seriously think a college democrat would do something like that?

what, is it 1950?

michael phelps smoked some pot. at a college party in columbia, south carolina. a british tabloid newspaper published a photo of him doing it. (how those college kids at didn't notice the british guy with the camera wandering around the party...well, they were smoking pot.)

we get this reaction from the united states olympic committee:

"We are disappointed in the behavior recently exhibited by Michael Phelps. Michael is a role model, and he is well aware of the responsibilities and accountability that come with setting a positive example for others, particularly young people. In this instance, regrettably, he failed to fulfill those responsibilities. Michael has acknowledged that he made a mistake and apologized for his actions."

quite honestly, i think wally needs to be grounded, don't you ward?

the japanese are irked

and i had absolutely nothing to do with it.

you know you're a new yorker when...

...you grow up in wisconsin and the news that brett favre is going to be wearing jets green makes you happy. (and yes, i just said "wearing jets green.")

one quote, and then i'm done:

"The simple yet mind-boggling fact (is) that Packers management thinks Favre isn't good enough to win. If it thought otherwise, Favre wouldn't be the quarterback of the New York Jets today."

– espn's gene wojciechowski

and hey, there's always room for another drama queen in new york.

don't i know you?

interesting when two friends meet...

i went to waterford union high school with blogger jeff ircink (passion=truth) who now lives in l.a. and works as an actor, playwright, and...what else is it you do jeff? jeff's a published playwright (and a good one) who in his spare time fishes, smokes, and has a major man-crush on brett favre. (yes, straight men can have crushes on other straight men without thinking about penis.)

i've worked in milwaukee theater with blogger jonathan west (artsy schmartsy) many, many times, and i actually just saw him in a wonderful production of tally's folly at milwaukee chamber theater. over the years, jon's been an actor, a director, a writer, run a theater company of his own...and i'm sure there's more. these days, he's also a devoted father and spouse.

two days ago, jeff and i had a delightful phone conversation about the recent brett favre "i'm retired -- no i'm not!" debacle, easily summed up in two lines:

tony: it makes that weepy news conference seem like bullshit.
jeff: he changed his mind, it happens all the time.

this morning, i realized these two old friends were already having this conversation...

you are so tyson gay

the man in this picture is a gay. in fact, his whole family is gay.

he is a gay from lexington, kentucky, but he currently lives in fayetteville, arkansas. and we know how gay that is. (please. fay-etteville?) he is so gay his name is even gay. tyson gay. seriously, how gay is that? plus, there's the sign behind him. talk about advertising it.

thankfully, the american family association (you remember them) has a policy on it's "news" website to filter out the word "gay" and replace it with "homosexual" (lest you think there are strange men lurking out there wanting to make your children gleeful, jovial, glad, joyous, happy, cheerful, or sprightly in any way.)

thus, until recently, the american family association referred to this man as:

Tyson Homosexual

in reprinting an associated press story about the gay from lexington, the american family's "news" site included this:

Tyson Homosexual was a blur in blue, sprinting 100 meters faster than anyone ever has.

His time of 9.68 seconds at the U.S. Olympic trials Sunday doesn't count as a world record, because it was run with the help of a too-strong tailwind. Here's what does matter: Homosexual qualified for his first Summer Games team and served notice he's certainly someone to watch in Beijing.

"It means a lot to me," the 25-year-old Homosexual said. "I'm glad my body could do it, because now I know I have it in me"

there was also this thrilling description of gay's costume, and his performance:

Wearing a royal blue uniform with red and white diagonal stripes across the front, along with matching shoes, all in a tribute to 1936 Olympic star Jesse Owens, Homosexual dominated the competition.

He started well and pulled out to a comfortable lead by the 40-meter mark. This time, he kept pumping those legs all the way through the finish line, extending his lead.

In Saturday's opening heat, Homosexual pulled way up, way too soon, and nearly was caught by the field, before accelerating again and lunging in for fourth place.

they also ran these headlines about him:

HOMOSEXUAL SETS U.S.
RECORD IN 100 WITH 9.77

CLOSE CALL: HOMOSEXUAL BARELY
AVERTS MAJOR FLOP IN 100

HOMOSEXUAL BREAKS GREENE'S
U.S. RECORD IN 100 AT TRIALS

a homosexual going around breaking someone's records. sounds like a nasty gay divorce. ("that was MY donna summer - live and more you bitch!")

(hat tip: damien)

hot men crying

it doesn't get hotter than this.

i mean, watch this and tell me it's not hot. and what's hotter than the first guy (his name's terrell, i guess) actually crying at a news conference, is the three announcers analyzing his crying. they are so into his crying. one of 'em's even had terrell crying on his shoulder. hot!

and in reality? it's all about my home-boy (is home-boy hyphenated?) tony romo. i think terrell has a little crush on tony. jessica, you better watch out! okerrr??