you are so tyson gay

the man in this picture is a gay. in fact, his whole family is gay.

he is a gay from lexington, kentucky, but he currently lives in fayetteville, arkansas. and we know how gay that is. (please. fay-etteville?) he is so gay his name is even gay. tyson gay. seriously, how gay is that? plus, there's the sign behind him. talk about advertising it.

thankfully, the american family association (you remember them) has a policy on it's "news" website to filter out the word "gay" and replace it with "homosexual" (lest you think there are strange men lurking out there wanting to make your children gleeful, jovial, glad, joyous, happy, cheerful, or sprightly in any way.)

thus, until recently, the american family association referred to this man as:

Tyson Homosexual

in reprinting an associated press story about the gay from lexington, the american family's "news" site included this:

Tyson Homosexual was a blur in blue, sprinting 100 meters faster than anyone ever has.

His time of 9.68 seconds at the U.S. Olympic trials Sunday doesn't count as a world record, because it was run with the help of a too-strong tailwind. Here's what does matter: Homosexual qualified for his first Summer Games team and served notice he's certainly someone to watch in Beijing.

"It means a lot to me," the 25-year-old Homosexual said. "I'm glad my body could do it, because now I know I have it in me"

there was also this thrilling description of gay's costume, and his performance:

Wearing a royal blue uniform with red and white diagonal stripes across the front, along with matching shoes, all in a tribute to 1936 Olympic star Jesse Owens, Homosexual dominated the competition.

He started well and pulled out to a comfortable lead by the 40-meter mark. This time, he kept pumping those legs all the way through the finish line, extending his lead.

In Saturday's opening heat, Homosexual pulled way up, way too soon, and nearly was caught by the field, before accelerating again and lunging in for fourth place.

they also ran these headlines about him:

HOMOSEXUAL SETS U.S.
RECORD IN 100 WITH 9.77

CLOSE CALL: HOMOSEXUAL BARELY
AVERTS MAJOR FLOP IN 100

HOMOSEXUAL BREAKS GREENE'S
U.S. RECORD IN 100 AT TRIALS

a homosexual going around breaking someone's records. sounds like a nasty gay divorce. ("that was MY donna summer - live and more you bitch!")

(hat tip: damien)