perez hilton is a dick

that just needed to be said.

quote(s) of the day

"The president instructed us that nothing we would do would be outside of our obligations, legal obligations under the Convention Against Torture...

The United States was told, we were told, nothing that violates our obligations under the Convention Against Torture, and so by definition, if it was authorized by the president, it did not violate our obligations under the Convention Against Torture."

– condoleeza rice
george w. bush's 2nd secretary of state

"When the president does it that means that it is not illegal.

If the president, for example, approves something because of the national security, or in this case because of a threat to internal peace and order of significant magnitude, then the president's decision in that instance is one that enables those who carry it out, to carry it out without violating a law."

– richard nixon
37th president of the united states

passing the day

an elderly man enjoying a beautiful, sunny day on the pacific coast in ventura, california. and yes, he's doing exactly what you think he's doing. i know because i heard it.

gokey edges out lambert

is danny gokey gay has overtaken is adam lambert gay as the most popular search that sends readers to this blog.

one too many jet trails

in a new interview, musical genius prince reveals what we've all suspected for years – he's crazy as a friggin' loon:

Prince upholds [controversial civil-rights activist and comedian Dick] Gregory's opinion on 'chem trails', which claims condensation trails left by passing airplanes are not water vapor but evidence of chemical sprays used by evil forces to disrupt and manipulate society.

"When I was a kid, I used to see these trails in the sky all the time and I'd say, 'Oh, that's cool -- a jet just went over,'" Prince told [Tavis] Smiley. "And then you started to see a whole bunch of them and the next you know, everybody in your neighborhood was fighting and arguing and you didn't know why."

but two of his new albums (there are three, sort of) are really good.

f-wd idol: gokey-dokey wrap

• danny gokey says he learns from watching other performers. let that be a lesson to every performer everywhere. (for the youngins in mamma mia, tim ewing and i will be giving an audition workshop saturday in between shows.)

• wow, ryan peecrust just made glambert look like an ass ("which side of the stage do you think you belong on?") that was completely unfair.

• ryan's batting a thousand. he just opened up the ass-door for nwm (the whole mouth dropped open deal) and she walked right in.

• something'sgottagive something'sgottagive something'sgottagive something'sgottagive something'sgottagive something'sgottagive.

• taylor hicks is still a sqat-singer (he assumes an "i'm crappin' in my pants" position when he sings, and he looks really, really happy about it.) he belongs on stage in branson. or at promise keeper conference.

• jamie foxx likes the auto-tune! (rob just yelled from the next room, "when does he sing?")

• paying more attention to how much time he has left than the host of the show, foxx says, "support these cats. and oh...i got a movie out."

• hey kids! just remember – all those hit songs you like so much right now? they're all gonna be advertising jingles in about 10 years.

• are we surprised that glambert was so close to getting booted off, and...

• do we really think that moley is "an artist" whose gonna go on to a great career?

thinking...thinking...

just think, about 3 months from now, republicans will be saying, "yeah, but the third 100 days is gonna be really hard..."

obama is not a terrorist...

...he's an actual terror attack. this is what the leader of the republican party approvingly reports "his friend" believes. (listen closely and see if you can delineate between the alleged dinner party conversation and the snippets of opinion thrown in as fact and his own personal opinion, all mixed up together.)

and we're supposed to have a civil, honest discussion about anything when republican after republican grovel at this guys feet? seriously now...

(hat tip media matters)

the just say no network

only one major television network will not be airing the presidential news conference tonight. wanna guess which one?

momentum

mo⋅men⋅tum [moh-men-tuhm] –noun, plural -ta [-tuh] -tums.

1. force or speed of movement; impetus, as of a physical object or course of events: The car gained momentum going downhill. Her career lost momentum after two unsuccessful films.

here's a good idea!

let's blame swine flu on illegal immigrants!

the way of the whigs

will the last person to leave the GOP please turn out the lights? from greg sargent:

"Earlier this week a Washington Post poll made a big splash because it found that only 21 percent self-identify as Republicans. The abysmally low number got pundits and reporters talking about whether the GOP is shrinking to the point of irrelevance.

Now we have another poll that finds that the number of self-identified Republicans has dropped even lower: 20 percent."

shouldn't someone throw a going away party?

fast-forward idol: gokey-dokey

the rat pack. i'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that this will be danny gokey's night. and i promise to not come back and delete that prediction if i'm wrong.

do you see the lizard thing with ryan peecrust? he's all crested gecko. OHMYSANTA someone wrapped paula abdul for christmas. she looks like an over-sized, boozed-up poinsettia.

i am not a huge jamie foxx fan. that said, i bet he'll be good for them.

f-fwd.

• kris. the way you look tonight. jamie: "this dude...is a dude...i'd do a dude record with. dude." foxxy want him some kris kringle, uh-hurrr. kris – too. much. riffing. still, i liked it. and he looks good. judges: randy – randy actually says intelligent things, but i forget what they were. nwm – "songs from this era..." blah, blah, blah. his rhythms? he's a dark horse? there are five people left, how dark can he be? i can't hear a thing paula says because i can't get past the christmas bow that ate burbank. simon thought it was a little bit wet. i understand that. ryan doesn't. ryan thinks since he doesn't get it, none of us do either. oh ryan, you're such an everyman. (schmuck.)

f-fwd.

• allison. oh good, she's 17. someone to watch over me. see – jamie fox is talking to her about acting; what's it mean to her? good for him. her phrasing is horrible. this is so not her deal, but she's doing pretty well. judges: randy – loved it. nwm – you are not a one trick pony. gut wrenching version. paula – the dress, the dress. simon – "i have a horrible feeling you could be in trouble tonight." but simon, we haven't heard moley yet.

f-fwd.

• moley. my funny valentine. is he singing in some strange dialect? "merr fernny valentine?" i think this is awful. judges: randy – one of the hardest songs ever. pitchy. didn't all come together for me. nwm – you weren't emotionally connected to it (but of course moley says, snarkily, "i was, i was," which, well then, okay matt. what nwm and i were feeling was just wrong.) paula – someone call bill o'reilly: this is a war on christmas. simon – he loved it. brilliant. simon's been drinking out of paula's red coke cup.

f-fwd.

• gokey. come rain or come shine. wow. jamie's all up in gokey's grill. woah! get in there jamester! jamie wanna kiss on lil' gokey! smooch him! smooch him! this is...uh...kinda hot. i may have to rewind here.

rwd.

okay. i'm back.

danny looks fantastic. this is so riffless! danny! listen, he is singing the melody. wtf! and only now he plays. how nice. so beautifully controlled. so confident. wow. build it! holy shit. this is what i want from this guy. so exciting. there is your winner. wow. i know i've said this before, but this, this is why i love american idol. i think that was one of the best performances i've ever seen on this show. judges: randy – loved it. nwm – most creative ever. swag swag swaggar. paula – you can see the finish line right in front of you. simon – you came out to prove a point and you did it. that was outstanding. adam lambert just put on more eyeliner.

f-fwd.

• lamby. is gonna be good too, right? feelin' good. here comes the screech. ugh. am i crazy? i thought that was pretty oogy. too much attitude, and too much of the same old, same old. i'm like deiter with adam – "your screeching has grown tiresome, now is da time venn vee dah-nse." my cousin howard has a man-crush on adam. hey howard – still? judges: randy – too drama, too broadway, but good. nwm – my mouth drops open every time. (insert in your own punchline in the comments.) paula – my mouth drops every time there's a pill nearby. simon – you want to win. best entrance ever. ryan? "oh, i'm not that gay." hello, ryan? your mom called to say, "YES YOU ARE!"

winner: danny gokey. by far. the best, most interesting, best arranged, best performance of the night. maybe of the whole season.

middlers: adam, kris, allison.

gone: moley. but the mole itself may be safe. whew.

now. is jamie foxx gay?

(read this weeks wrap-up here.)

quote of the day

"I find it interesting that it was back in the 1970s that the swine flu broke out then under another Democrat president Jimmy Carter. And I'm not blaming this on President Obama, I just think it's an interesting coincidence."

– michelle bachmann
republican representative from minnesota

bachmann was referring to the swine flu outbreak that did occur in the 1970s – 1976, to be precise, under then republican president gerald ford.

you don't look a day over 84

last night, along with rachel york, dean pitchford, charlotte rae and rob hancock, i sang happy birthday to the lovely and talented sheldon harnick. celebrating his 85th, harnick quipped, "people always say i look good for my age. well, i just discovered that i'm dyslexic, which means i'm actually only 58."

great shakes with the enemy

ronald reagan, 40th president of the united states, shakes hands with mikhail gorbachev, general secretary of the communist party of the soviet union from 1985 until 1991.

frank rich: america-hater

this guy really, really hates america.

quote of the day

“To be honest, I would rather not have [same-sex marriage] in Iowa. But the thing is, it’s really none of my business. Who am I to tell someone how to live? I live the way I want, and they should live the way they want. I’m surely not going to stomp and raise heck and campaign against it.”

– 84 year old, life-long iowan shirley cox

obama support steady and solid

let's be realistic: these poll numbers are gonna shift downward at some point. maybe go back up, fall again. but while there while there may be traces of disapproval about immigration, torture, and how he's dealt with the auto industry, somewhere around day 100 barack hussein obama has a 69% approval rating. and that's not all:

"Majorities said that Obama has exceeded their expectations in his first three months in office, has accomplished big things and has kept his main campaign promises. Further, public optimism about the economy and the country's direction also remain on the rise since his election...

Majorities of Americans also approve of how he is handling health care, global warming, taxes and Cuba, four areas in which the administration has tried to stake new ground in its first few months."

the abc news/washington post poll also includes some ishy news for republicans:

"21 percent of those surveyed said they identify as Republicans, the fewest to do so in a Post-ABC poll in more than 25 years. Last fall, Democrats outnumbered Republicans at the polls by the biggest margin in network exit polls going back to the 1982 midterms."

god hates parents of figs, too!

the high school kids in this video, from walt whitman high school in bethesda, maryland (many of them, in fact, christian) are the future of our country. the seven angry people across the street? not so much.

you guessed it: more creative counter-protests to those joy-spreaders from the fred phelps / westboro baptist church crew. (please, please don't let them stop!) what i didn't realize is that apparently god doesn't hate only figs, he's pretty pissed at the fig parents too (sorry paw.)

money quote from rebekah phelps-davis:

"god says it's an abomination to be a fag, and their parents teach them that it's okay to be gay. thereby they're calling god a liar. they also tell them that god loves them as they are...that couldn't be further from the truth.

as a parent, if i had a homosexual child standing in front of me, i would tell them plain and straight what the word of god is. and i would also believe that god is punishing me if he gives me a homosexual child because the sins of the fathers are played out on the children."

while admittedly the westboro flock is a bunch of loons that aren't to be taken too seriously, is phelps' statement really such an extreme point of view? didn't rick warren actually say something like that at obama's inauguration? and is the republican party paying attention to counter-protest turnouts like this?

to bea, or not to bea

"Look -- I'm 5-feet-9, I have a deep voice and I have a way with a line. What can I do about it? I can't stay home waiting for something different. I think it's a total waste of energy worrying about typecasting."

bea arthur died today, at the age of 86. bea – r.i.p. and b.w.a.c.

a growing influence

a year ago, kevin cameron realized that not have voting rights in the small japanese village he and his wife tomoe had moved to actually meant somthing to him:

"Until I moved here, having or not having voting rights where I lived meant little to me. For the first time, I feel a connection to, and pride in, my place, and for the first time I feel that my voice just might make a difference."

the campaign for this year's election is in full swing, and even though folks usually end up voting for their neighbor, and candidates don't run on much of a "platform," kevin and tomoe may have much more influence in the local election than they'd suspected:

"The village is abuzz with election fever. Having the car with the loud speaker assault our house is nothing new to anyone who has lived in Japan longer than a year, but this time it's personal.

Not only has Tomoe been sucked into being one of the loud-speaker ladies (she was practicing making her voice annoying last night and will be out all day today) but we actually know, on a personal and business level, 6 of the 14 candidates."

next year, tomoe for mayor! more of the zen-like japanese adventures (and truly stunning photography) of kevin and tomoe here.

it would have been wonderful

"If I had to live my life over again, I would have children.
That’s the great mistake I made.

It’s too late now. The idea of being a homosexual and raising children was one that was just not acceptable until, my goodness, I’d say the 1970s or 1980s. You want to live long enough to see your children grow up, they’re not puppies. The joy is not just to have them, but to watch them change and grow.

So, yes, that is a great regret.”

stephen sondheim talks about the prospect of never writing another musical, the only lyricist he wants to work with, and katharine hepburn banging on his door at 3:00 in the morning, in a rare interview with the times of london.

the nifty fifty-four?

could the u.s. suddenly have four new states and a new texas? nate silver says yes, and shows us how.

sing out, katie!

best unintentional singer: katie couric. everything sounds better when it's auto-tuned. laugh out loud video from the gregory brothers:


more auto-tune the news here.

(hat tip rachel maddow)

secede ya later!

texas may be outy (or at least, the right side of texas.) a new daily kos poll shows that 51% of republicans approve of the recent talk of splitting off from the rest of us united states. except for about three people, dang it texas! what are you waitin' fer?! git!

great shakes with the enemy

37th u.s. president richard nixon smiling, shaking hands with mao zedong.

what a maroon!

wild sheep chasing offers ten commonsense tips for arguing with idiots (if i'd only known.) wsc saves my favorite for last:

10. Don’t start. If you cannot agree on the basic tenants of reality, don’t start an argument with an idiot. Remember faith trumps logic. You cannot argue the poop on the rug is Dog’s fault if you cannot agree that Dog exists.

f-fwd idol: back to chapel hill

the results show. paula choreographs the big disco medley, probably the closest they will come to actually working in the industry. and....swing choir.

lil' goes home. as it should be. randy's advice for lil: this is just the beginning. just the beginning. this is just the beginning. randy striving to prove the point that when you don't have anything else to say, say the same thing over and over again.

okay, who cancelled at the last minute that they had to get freda payne? was this paula abdul's idea, to get someone on stage who looks worse than she does? now thelma houston. wow. that yellow dress, and she's getting so close to the front row, and shaking her binniss all over 'em. it's like "hey kids! this what a 65 year old cootch look like, okay?!! you should be so g-d lucky when you my age!" ohgod: kc. he was a scary freak-lookin' human back in the day, and now it's like watching monty davis sing disco, god rest his soul. (for those of you not from milwaukee, insert truman capote.)

i have to say i'm really, really sad that the disco medley is over. i was so hoping to see alicia bridges.

more results: adam looks a little puffy, no? puffy, but safe. kris is safe, danny is safe, anoop is "whoops i crapped my pants."

matt. the mole is trying to answer peecrust's question. allison is in the bottom three, but anoop is going home. i know this because i read someone's twitter post revealing that info before i watched the show tonight. nice.

david archeletta looks awkward and sounds nervous, like many of my dates in high school. who wrote this song, his dad? look, there's susan dey playing keyboards.

anoop is gonna cry. he sounds better than he did last night too. "i'm so disappointed" he says, "but now i get to go back to chapel hill."

yes, anoop. yes you do.

quote of the day

"The information gained from these (enhanced interrogation techniques, approved by the bush administration) was valuable in some instances, but there is no way of knowing whether the same information could have been obtained through other means.

The bottom line is these techniques have hurt our image around the world, the damage they have done to our interests far outweighed whatever benefit they gave us and they are not essential to our national security."

– admiral dennis c. blair
director of national intelligence for the obama administration

(bush administration memos revealed that, among other things, two captured qaeda operatives were subjected to waterboarding, a form of near-drowning, a total of 266 times.)

what we save

or, rather, what we should save:

the tassel's worth the hassle

should a public school hold its graduation ceremony in a church?

"president obama won the election"

clinton 1, pence 0.

taking grassley's advice

back in march, iowa senator chuck grassley quite seriously suggested folks at AIG and the like, "follow the Japanese model and come before the American people and take that deep bow and say I’m sorry, and then either do one of two things — resign, or go commit suicide.”

on tuesday night, freddie mac's interim chief financial officer david kellermann, took grassley's advice to heart.

paid for by god and doctors

and i thought the parodies couldn't get any better:


(hat tip b.runbeck)

edging closer to a conversation

jonathan merrit suggests that christians need to love their gay neighbors as jesus loved the tax collectors. first, the love – the tough love, for fellow christians:

"Many Christians today live in opposition to the teachings of our Lord. They use harsh language when speaking to, or more commonly, about their gay neighbors.

Sadly, this doesn't just emanate from the "God Hates Fags" crazies, but from everyday Christians in everyday churches. Evangelicals often speak of lesbians and gay men as if they have some sort of medical disease that we experts have diagnosed and can easily cure with a simple, biblical prescription.

Our job is to mirror Christ by loving people in spite of our differences and advocating for our culture's disenfranchised groups. Only then can we effectively share with them the reasons that we believe our beliefs are most compelling."

merrit's suggestion would be a good first step. but the problem with any christian v. anything argument is the assumption that "christian" defines an entire group of people. using christian as a broad, generic label is unfair when there are, quite obviously, many different types of christians. there are even christians who don't believe other christians are actually christian. (on the other hand, there are not gays who think other gays are not gay. there are gays who think some non-gays are gay, but that's another story. and more than likely it's about your husband.)

merrit does suggest, as i have, that conversation is most important. we must talk to our parents, our friends, our co-workers. our pastors, our priests, our rabbis. what is unfortunately inherent in his side of the conversation, though, is his interest in convincing me that his way is the right way. i have no desire to convince him to be a homosexual, or to not be a christian.

ultimately, he would like me to not be gay.

things more popular than republicans

china, venezuela and legalizing marijuana – all more popular than republicans, according to a cnn poll. although in some good news for the g.o.p, they are just a titch more popular than cuba.

(hat tip ambinder)

closer still

more good news for marriage in new york:

"The GOP's New York leadership in both the state senate and assembly are going to allow Republican legislators to make "conscience votes" on Gov. David Paterson's marriage-equality bill rather than pressuring party members to vote against it, giving the legislation a much stronger likelihood of picking up Republican votes in both chambers."

a conscience vote allows legislators to vote according to their own personal conscience rather than according to an official line set down by their political party.

fast-forward idol: from the beach

i'm blogging from ventura, california tonight. the ocean is 20 steps away, it's 77 degrees, there's a light breeze, and i'm sitting inside with a laptop, watching television. i do it all for you. (this also means no dvr, so no fast-forward.)

two people go home this week so let me start by saying please god, let anoop be one of them. (god? how 'bout anoop and lil?) ryan peecrust looks like a skanky lizard, jutting his chin out, licking the air, surveying the situation. ahh...the disco medley. wait? what?! we've jumped right into the show!

• lil. i'm every woman. wow...i was unprepared for this. but lil is not every woman. judges: randy – "you didn't show us what kind of artist you are." (i disagree, i just think she's the boring kind.) nwm – we been waitin' for that and it sure weren't worth it! paula – lil is on vocal rest, okay? "i don't think you hit quite the boiling point." simon – "lil, you look so sad." i'd be sad too. "copycat, this is your final shot, sorry." simon is right.

• kris. she works hard for the money. this is gonna be cool. good for him, it's totally working. donna summer meets the doobie brothers meets santana. i liked that. a lot. judges: nwm – newbie can't stop shouting his name (just like she was last night. in her hotel room. alone. with a pizza and a pint of chunky monkey.) paula – "you shop in the women's department." simon – do you buy ladies underwear like me? randy – ready for the big time, dawg. tony – let me say this again: kris is a movie star. if he can read a line at all, he's gonna do a lot more than just sing pop songs. and yes, i have a little crush.

• gokey. september. he's settled in now. this is too "easy" for him, and somehow lacks the terrific excitement he had early on. judges: randy – you turned that into something that really worked for you. nwm – your pitch is right on. paula – as a woman i think your voice is sexy. (as a man, i think paula needs more booze.) simon – "as a performance, i didn't get any star power." as a blogger, i agree with simon.

• allison. hot stuff. what in the world is she wearing? it's tacky latin leather quinceanera night! the song is almost over and i still haven't gotten past that costume. like danny, it's a little too easy. she's already moved on from this show. judges: randy – overindulgent arrangement, but "you can really sing." nwm – from a singing perspective, that was a 9-10. (from what other perspective should we be judging the contestants of a singing contest?) paula – i'm watching simon listen to paula and try to make sense of anything she's saying and i think this could be it's own reality show. simon – you were the underdog and that was brilliant.

• adam. if i can't have you. is he flat? ohh...here's the trick: flippity flip, screechy mcscreecherson. wow, this was actually kind of nice until the screeching. adam, babe, why? everything but the middle (screechella) was great. judges: randy – you're ready right now dude. nwm – the guy from snl meets clark kent. yeah, the guy from snl. we all know who that is. that good old guy from snl! i love him. paula – "i've never questioned my visceral response." she's on the verge of tears. (she just realized she's out of zanax.) simon – original, memorable, immaculate. and i'm not just talking about your eye liner. adam thanks michael orland who helped him come up with the arrangement. classy.

• moley. stayin' alive. okay, that first note says: i'm desperate to stay. "i'm going nowhere." except for off this show matt, i think i'd agree. moley gives the most cliched performance of the night. that was painful to me. judges: randy – randy said "you can really sing" about ten times, but didn't say "dawg" once. nwm – you brought disco back. (this is a good thing?) paula – paula discusses her bowling skills. simon – (c'mon simon, tell the truth. good, he does.) "get out of idol-land. that was desperate, no originality."

• anoop. dim all the lights. how many donna summer songs did we need to hear tonight? there was so much more to choose from. nooper got a dirty stache. dirty nooper. please don't let the tempo kick in. ohh...there it goes. well, that was sort of interesting, but so is a coffee enema. speaking of coffee enemas, that last note...woah. rough. judges: randy – "you can sing" again. nwm – you're hitting your stride. paula – "real men know how to wear pink. you got beautiful teeth, smile more." paula should teach. simon – that was mediocre at best. a horrible version of that song. simon is right. is anoop gay?

do we think that adam is not going to win, people will say it's because he's gay, and it will be a big scandal? something about tonight's show made me think that.

going home: lil, matt, anoop
middlers: danny, allison,
winners: kris, adam

quote of the day

“Get your facts first, then you can distort them

as much as you please.”

– mark twain

senator biden is now my homeboy

some of the best reporting from the campaign trail. 5th grade reporter damon weaver interviews then senator joe biden during the 2008 presidential campaign.

at one point, weaver asks biden "what a does a vice president do?" biden's answer is fairly clear and succinct. i seem to remember another vice presidential candidate being asked the same question, and giving a very different answer ("i'll tell you, i still can't answer that question until somebody answers for me what is it exactly that the vp does every day?" – sarah palin.)

since this report, and prior to finishing elementary school, weaver has received a full scholarship to albany state university:

i'm really happy. i didn't know how i was going to be able to afford college, and now this is a big relief to my mother and my family."

"i'm not dead yet!"

but i'm barely breathing.

quote of the day

"I think we're seeing a war brewing in the Republican Party. But it is not between us and Democrats. It is not between us and liberals. It is between the future and the past.

Simply embracing technology isn't going to fix our problem. Republicans using Twitter and Facebook isn't going to miraculously make people think we're cool again. Breaking free from obsolete positions and providing real solutions that don't divide our nation further will.

That's why some in our party are scared. They sense the world around them is changing and they are unable to take the risk to jump free of what's keeping our party down."

– meghan mccain

"brain-dead bigots"

the new york times's frank rich provides possibly the clearest and most thorough summary of where the anti-gay movement is today. and it ain't pretty for them:

"Easy to mock as (National Organization for Marriage's anti-gay marriage television ad) 'Gathering Storm' may be, it nonetheless bookmarks a historic turning point in the demise of America’s anti-gay movement.

What gives the ad its symbolic significance is not just that it’s idiotic but that its release was the only loud protest anywhere in America to the news that same-sex marriage had been legalized in Iowa and Vermont. If it advances any message, it’s mainly that homophobic activism is ever more depopulated and isolated as well as brain-dead."

rich's full rant as well as stephen colbert's version of "the gathering storm" ad are not to be missed.

(hat tip laurin)

arrrgh!

despite this recent court ruling, these pirates are still at work.

bible bait and switch

a pasadena christ-centered ministry – disguised as a pregnancy clinic – lures young women in with the promise of a free pregnancy test only to corner them in order to preach abstinence and the word of christ. or as pasadena weekly's tina dupuy puts it, "go in for a root canal and come out with fire insurance."

if your really spreading "biblical truth," why would you have to be deceitful and manipulative to do it?

UPDATE 4/19 – from the comments, aaronorear adds:

"We do something similar at St. Jude's...we advertise Sunday Eucharist, but once people are here we try and talk them into taking a pregnancy test."

do not pass go, do not collect $200

no get out of jail free card for the folks who were only "carrying out orders" when they tortured.

grey matter

the hbo film grey gardens premiered tonight. it stars jessica lange and drew barrymore as big edie and little edie bouvier beale, the aunt and first cousin of jacqueline bouvier kennedy onassis, who ended up living in squalor and isolation in an 14-room mansion in east hampton, ny.

jessica lange has always been on the top of my list (something i was lucky enough to tell her in person a few years back, as she was nuzzling my dog reggie, in salt lake city, utah.) from francis to men don't leave to rob roy to big fish, i think she's one of the best there is. and in this film she is nothing short of remarkable.

which is why no one is more surprised than me to say i could not take my eyes off of drew barrymore.

hbo's grey gardens runs until may 29, and is available on demand as of monday – don't miss it. and put the original 1975 albert and david maysles documentary in your netflix cue a.s.a.p. or get it from the tuesdays amazon store.

a cure for...oh, say, blindness

scientists in the u.k, unhampered by the u.s. dogmatic response to utilizing embryonic stem cells in medical research, have what some may view as very good news:

"British scientists have developed the world’s first stem cell therapy to cure the most common cause of blindness. Surgeons predict it will become a routine, one-hour procedure that will be generally available in six or seven years’ time."

might one assume that patients who are opposed to such research would then refuse treatment or therapy discovered or developed through it's use?

so, it's not just politics

who knew? from steve schmidt's address to the log cabin republicans today:

"It can be argued, although I disagree, that marriage should remain the legal union of a man and a woman because changing it to admit same sex unions would undermine the most basic institution of a well ordered society. It can be argued according to the creeds and convictions of religious belief, which I respect.

But it cannot be argued that marriage between people of the same sex is un-American or threatens the rights of others. On the contrary, it seems to me that denying two consenting adults of the same sex the right to form a lawful union that is protected and respected by the state denies them two of the most basic natural rights affirmed in the preamble of our Declaration of Independence – liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

That, I believe, gives the argument of same sex marriage proponents its moral force."

huh. there really is a storm comin'.

quote of the day

"I heard this coming out here a few minutes ago. Apparently, Rush Limbaugh's dog said it hopes that Obama's dog fails."

– David Letterman

video of the day

lot's of readers have noticed the changes to tuesdays over the past few weeks. one recent addition you may have missed is the video of the day, in the middle column.

today's choice is a great social guidance film from 1961, directed by the infamous sid davis. davis was well known for his educational films on topics ranging from driver safety to heroin addiction. today's film is especially near and dear to my heart. enjoy!

when the rain comes

there's a (big gay) storm coming. and i am afraid:


(hat tip b.runbeck)

don't follow me, i'm lost too

former mccainer steve schmidt is giving a high profile speech today with a big chunk of advice for his fellow republicans: drop your opposition to same-sex marriage.

"I'm confident American public opinion will continue to move on the question toward majority support, and sooner or later the Republican Party will catch up to it."

because that's what the republican party does now. it doesn't lead, it catches up to the rest of the country.

a pretty weak tea

it's been almost laughable to watch pundits and politicians from the right take to the airwaves over the last few days to say the word "grassroots" as many times as they could in describing the tea parties held on tax day. many of the protests, anything but grassroots, were actually funded by right-wing organizations run by folks like dick armey and newt gingrich, and promoted endlessly on fox news.

i'm all about protests. especially if you have something clear cut to protest against, or for. but the vast majority of the people protesting on april 15th actually received a tax cut this year. some said they were protesting government spending during an economic crisis (something the vast majority of economists agree government needs to do right now.) some were protesting the immigration issue, but offer no suggestion or solution to the problem. deficits and debt? absolutely, go for it. but where were these people when george w. bush took a huge surplus and frittered it away?

where were these people when the 4000th american soldier was killed in a meaningless war? and more importantly, how many will protest now that we have indisputable, substantive proof that the government many of them supported under g.w.b. committed what amounts to war crimes of torture? but let's carry a sign comparing barack obama to adolph hitler, or continue ranting on the fantasy that obama was born in kenya. that makes sense. if you wanna have an anti-obama party, have at it. we already had the pro-obama party. it was called election day.

when you've got a clear, debatable argument as a party or group, bring it on. when you have nothing – no plan, no alternative, no ideas – then have a tea party with sean hannity or glen beck or greta van susteren. and when it's all over, let's hope you got it out of your system. but you brought nothing to the table.

except some pretty weak tea.

reservoir dawg idol wrap-up

1. i have no theories about voting on idol. but anoop should be gone.
2. four words: myley cyrus - fast forward.
3. i have no theories about voting on idol. but moley should not be going home (even though he sounded horrible on the results show.)
4. that said, they should not have used that save on moley.

thinking...thinking...

the only people to see their taxes go up since election day are smokers.

the united state of texas

if you're goin' to san antonio anytime soon, bring along your passport 'cause texas wants to secede. and it's not the first time. a nice wrap-up on secession and states rights from wild sheep chasing includes this:

The last time Texas wanted to secede this was the reason:

“We hold as undeniable truths that the governments of the various States, and of the confederacy itself, were established exclusively by the white race, for themselves and their posterity; that the African race had no agency in their establishment; that they were rightfully held and regarded as an inferior and dependent race, and in that condition only could their existence in this country be rendered beneficial or tolerable.”

i wonder if they actually have a different reason this time around?

i thought i was reading 'the onion'

the funniest piece of news i've seen all day.

that's so gay

an 11 year-old boy teased mercilessly at school for his "femininity," a mother who tries to convince school officials to put a stop to it, and an outcome that no one was expecting. unless, of course, you grew up under similar circumstances, had the same fears and feelings this young boy may have had, and could see it coming.

you say edie, i say eddy

in new york, fox 5's anne craig reports the hbo grey gardens film is "fascinating, intriguing and leaves you wanting more!" even though throughout the entire report she referred to the main characters as "little eddy" and "big eddy." it's pronounced eee-dee (like edie gorme) and anne would probably have known that had she actually seen the movie prior to her report on it.

fast-forward idol: reservoir dawgs

wait. is this a youtube video? or saturday night live? (it's actually much more mad tv, isn't it?) punked, maybe? (where's ashton kutcher?)

i mean seriously...quentin tarantino?

i swear just saw a mister softee truck drive across randy jackson's blouse. paula abdul's costume: my name...is melinda. i think ryan peecrust is finally embracing his inner jamie gumb.

wow. only two judges get to review each singer. isn't that a big part of the show? oh but we ran over, we ran over. maybe if you cut the totally dispensable fourth judge, stop letting every contestant talk back to the judges, and get rid of all this stupid mindless chatter you won't run over. unbelievable. what idiot in a windowless office makes a decision like this?

• allison. i don't wanna miss a thing. interesting hearing that voice with just a string section. she's taken a huge turn for the worse about halfway through, as she came downstage. she's off pitch, it's not right in her voice. but the crowd loves her. judges: paula – you got special sauce. simon: yeah, bbq sauce. you are the girls only hope. wait, was he talking to peecrust?

• noopy. picks the frat boy song – totally predictable. anything you do. everything you do. whatever. this is pathetic, quentin tarantino giving them singing lessons. what if anoop cut simon's ear off, poured gasoline on him, and sang this song into the ear? normally, this would be when i'd grab the remote, but if he did that i might stay tuned. so, is noopy doing what q.t. asked him to do? judges: randy – you have found your zone, dude, it was in tune! nwm – you've found your place (well, she couldn't say "zone") and your place is pop + your eternal soul. tony – the frat boy gets better, but he's still frat boy karaoke.

• adam. q.t. enjoyed tasting gaybert. born to be gay wild. woah, he george michaeled it right downstage there, didn't he? a leapin' and a flouncin'. this is one of my least favorite songs, i think. maybe ever. i can hardly listen to adam sing once a week, to be honest, i can't imagine an entire concert or album. but that voice is truly stupid. it just is. and he can work it like nobody's business. judges: paula – you dare to dance in the pouch of greatness. the palth of greatness. the pouth. then she says fortune rewards the brave. she's reading too much harry potter. simon – like watching rocky horror. is adam lambert gay?

f-fwd.

i am just now getting up to get some chocolate.

• moley. not hiding lou rawls tonight. another frat boy song? have you ever loved a woman. have you ever really ever loved a woman. q.t. predicts this could be "one of moley's top three performances" – is that good? last i checked, the word understand actually has a "d" in it. i can't see anything but the mole tonight. is moley's mole kind of like blindy's blindness? it's his cross to bear? i'm comparing having a mole to being blind, is that bad? GOD it's huge. is it getting bigger? oh no moley. he let it rip and he ripped something. pretty awful there in the middle. judges: randy – for me man, again with the for me for you crap! somebody tell this shithead to find some new phrases. nwm – you show your chops. i don't really care about anything she said but she not gettin' any love from lou rawls tonight.

f-fwd.

• goke. ohhh no...he's lost the glasses, he's dressing a little more hip – he's on the road to elliott yamin dental work. endless love. woah. what was that note there? "myyyy...first love"? danny cannot reallly hold a quiet long note, can he? he always riffs off it. that was very subdued. and old school sap. not in a good way. judges: paula – sometimes i just can't listen to her. simon – boring arrangement. but i know you were singing it for your wife. we haven't heard much about her lately, have we? i think that's good. and that we didn't hear about it tonight. tony – not bad, but not his best.

that was a taco bell commercial promoting the fact that the lettuce is near impossible to find in their new salad. dear people on a diet: this is not a good thing.

f-fwd.

• kris. picks the best song. by a mile. from once. boy, if he's faking it, i buy it. i think that was pretty sweet. judges: randy – i'm an idiot and i couldn't tell if someone was off pitch if it bit me in my still giant even though i've lost a lot of weight black dawg ass. nwm – she is so done with moley and lou rawls and has moved on to kris, her new name is "get out the way bitch, kris be mine!" and that's me talking.

• lil. the rose. a.k.a. the riff. she could cut right through that snow she's so sharp. we've heard all this before, and better. (much better, actually.) judges: paula – paula said basically nothing. simon – too soft, too m.o.r, no excuses anymore. lil talks back, always a good idea. paula sticks up for lil: "don't ever be afraid to say what you feel lil, those that matter don't mind." can we crochet these things paula reads, memorizes and says onto pillow cases and sell them on the internet? or in the lobby?

they ran over again. maybe next week they'll cut ryan seacrest altogether. one can only hope.

i thought tonight was pretty much a disaster. tarantino said a few things i thought were worthwhile, but please. that's a joke. next week let's get someone from the food network to coach the singers. or john mccain.

gone: any of 'em. all of 'em. sheesh.

limbaugh's bicycle bell

chris matthews began tonight's hardball with these words:

"A bipartisan Minnesota appeals court has ruled that, quote, the overwhelming weight of the evidence is that Al Franken, author of 'Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot,' was elected senator, quote, fairly, impartially, and accurately.

So what does this mean to a congress that one Republican member has just called 'stacked with seventeen socialists?' Will the pink lists and the red scares grow louder? Will Rush now have to cover the legislating of man that now sits where Eugene McCarthy, Walter Mondale, and Hubert Humphrey once sat?

I'm talking about a guy who stands for everything Rush hates getting to vote on matters that old Rush can only ring his bicycle bell over."

in other words, franken won. again. (i'm not sure the appeals court actually credited franken with having written the limbaugh book.)

new york edges closer

from the new york times city room blog:

Gov. David A. Paterson on Thursday will announce plans to introduce legislation to legalize same-sex marriage, according to people with knowledge of the governor’s plans.

no, the votes aren't there today. but they will be, eventually...

(hat tip maura)

trimming and cutting

this line jumped out at me from obama's speech on the economy today:

"Let's not kid ourselves and suggest that we can solve this probem by trimming a few earmarks or cutting the budget for the National Endowment for the Arts."

"it does me no injury...

...for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods, or no god." so said thomas jefferson in his "notes on the state of virginia." the united states will never be a post-christian nation because it was never a christian nation to begin with.

the magical solution

on sunday morning, a smug newt gingrich suggested the obama administration was looking for "a magical solution that doesn't involve effort and doesn't involve risk" when it came to dealing with the somali pirates holding an american captain hostage. on sunday afternoon, that magical solution involved exactly three bullets, three dead pirates, a fourth pirate in u.s. custody, and an american captain being reunited with his friends and family.

sounds pretty magical to me.

and while he's certainly not alone, conservative blogger charles laughlin of little green footballs gives obama pretty major props for the pirate rescue deal:

"Maybe I’m old-fashioned, but what the hell happened to “The buck stops here”?

President Barack Obama is the Commander in Chief of the US armed forces. I certainly don’t agree with a lot of his policies, but I’ll be damned if I won’t — at the very least — respect the office and give him congratulations when it’s deserved. And when the US military succeeds in a critical mission, the C-in-C deserves congratulations.

There is way too much mean-spiritedness in modern politics, and I for one am totally sick of it...Take a step back from the brink, folks. Oppose Obama’s policies all you like, but be the loyal opposition, not a bunch of ranting haters. The Internet already has more than enough of those."

ladies and gentlemen, the ranting haters:


(hat tip andrew sullivan / daily kos)

you know you're a sap when...

...you break an old plastic spatula and your first thought is "ohhh...and after all the stuff this spatula and i have been through together."

quote of the day

"We do not know how Human Rights Campaign got access to the (National Organization for Marriage) audition tapes, but because they did, we do know that pretending to be a straight person hurt by gay marriage is apparently very, very challenging."

– rachel maddow, msnbc
responding to this.

from leno to leader

leno hosts grampa mccain. grampa disses palin:

"We have, I'm happy to say, a lot of (Republican) voices out there. There are a lot of governors out there who are young and dynamic."

grampa rattles off the young and dynamic, a list that includes 49 governors, none of them sarah palin. (okay, five governors. still.) then he says, whoops, i left someone out and i'm gonna get in trouble, tee-hee, tee-hee, but still doesn't add her to the list. dark.

paliners get pissed. but from out of the wilderness...

a teamsarah.org commenter:

"I've thought about these "snubs" alot...Sarah is probably better off being off these so-called lists. Having her name out there too early and too often may "spoil" a run for Sarah in 2012. Having her come "out of the wilderness" to run in 2011 and take on a weak list of Republican candidates may be best politically. So whether he means it or not, McCain may in fact be doing Sarah a favor."

sarah palin coming out of the wilderness of political obscurity. it's a theory.

the first pooch

the most anticipated introduction in years.

(ap photo/pete souza)

is danny gokey gay?

i don't think so, but adam lambert might be.

if this doesn't make you cry...

...then you're dead inside. wow:


(giant hat tip katie)

lying right in the middle

fox's neil caputo cavuto claims his network is giving the republican renaissance faires teabag parties so much coverage because the folks at fox are just so dang fair:

"Just a reminder, we are going to be right in the middle of these protests because at FOX we do not pick and choose these rallies and protests. We were there for the Million Man March, even though, as I pointed out, it turned out to be well shy of a million men..."

the only problem with fox being "right in the middle" of the million man march is...fox news didn't exist at the time.

(hat tip tpm)

making fun of crazy people

a republican party in laughable disarray may be good for democrats in the short term, but in the long run it's bad for the country. so says paul krugman, who, in his latest new york times column, feels a pang of guilt as well:

"Republicans have become embarrassing to watch. And it doesn’t feel right to make fun of crazy people. Better, perhaps, to focus on the real policy debates, which are all among Democrats."

scoop the poop!

the washington post gets the big story.

is adam lambert gay?

this is the question important enough to warrant a 1600 word new york times treatise (in the fashion and style section, no less) on the history of the gays in entertainment (boiled down nicely to rock hudson, liberace, and elton john. no, no mention of tom cruise or richard gere.)

actually, the question posed seems to be not so much is he gay but if he is gay, can he win american idol? (no, clay aiken was a runner-up and would turn fireplug red, fall on the floor kicking and screaming, and have a conniption if you even suggested g-ness back then. and i just said "back then" about something referencing clay aiken.)

if you've read any tuesdays american idol play-by-plays ("adam, you're pretty gay, babe") you know what i know think. of course the point is, who cares? (i mean, besides the millions of teenage girls who are having that adam as a brooding vampire dream at night. you know the one, where he materializes as a thick black mist next to your bed and then morphs into "ring of fire" adam who promises to make you immortal with one soft but sensual nip and you want to refuse but then you see vampire kris standing right behind him, smiling at you, mouthing the words "do it." right? you know that dream?)

actually, the times scribe guy trebay makes the who cares point too (while at the same time comparing the "scandal" of being gay to identity theft, hiding a criminal record, or having had an affair with paula abdul, when we all know it's nothing like two of those things.) or no, trebay's point is not who cares, but why no one cares. or why no one should care.

well apparently someone does care: bill o'reilly.

since i cannot stomach more than 30 seconds of this piece of tripe's television program without fantasizing about seeing him in a new york restaurant and walking over and hocking a loogie in his chicken alfredo (which of course would lead to an altercation and a fist fight that i would probably lose but i'd be sure to get a few good whacks in, at least bloody his nose, before the police hauled me away so it would all be worth it because tripe would have to mention his bandaged nose on his program that night) i was unaware of piece of tripe's musings about lambert's sexuality.

here, p.o.t. is talking about an online picture of someone who looks like they could be adam lambert, or someone going to a come dressed as your favorite vampire from american idol party, swallowing another guys face:

“These pictures that hint that he is gay, will they have an effect on this program, which is a cultural phenomenon in America?”

hint that he is gay, bill? hint? that's like saying your sagging ass-face hints that you have a sagging ass-face. why, it's as plain as the nose on your sagging ass-face.

but now, i suppose, since o'reilly has taken up this mantle, the gays must come together to see that gaybert lambert actually does win american idol. i will happily lead that charge, even though danny gokey is my homeboy.

so danny? allison? i'm sorry. unless you can provide graphic internet evidence of an ongoing affair with a younger sister, or a long-term intimate relationship with a plump french bulldog, adam wins.

i am all the way crazy

"...and you're currently on tour with willie nelson?"

yeah, well. not any more.

"i'm not all the way crazy"

have you met jesco white?

jesco – also known as jesse, also known as elvis – was born in 1956 in bandytown, west virginia, a tiny mountain town in the hills of boone county. he is an acclaimed appalachian mountain dancer, clogger, and entertainer.

jesco met his wife norma jean while hitchhiking one christmas eve, and while he originally intended to rob her, he instead fell in love.

the pbs documentary "dancing outlaw", first released roughly 17 years ago, tells the story of jesco's deep desire to carry on in his father's famous footsteps, reveals the troubled marriage he had to norma jean, and chronicles his love of huffing, and all things elvis.

my deepest thanks to raeleen mcmillion for introducing me to jesco all those years ago, making me a fan for life. if you're anything like me, this excerpt will send you scowering the internet for more. or you could just click this here link and get your own damn copy of the original documentary.

when pirates strike

that was the headline to one of cnn's more dramatic news segments friday.
i, of course, was imagining jack sparrow walking a picket line.

republican tip of the day

even other republicans are laughing behind your backs

hi republicans! here's a little tip for you: invoking the boston tea party is one thing (wasn't there a great schoolhouse rock...?) and while there is a perfectly legitimate position to be taken regarding reigning in government deficits, debt and spending (especially once the economy comes roaring back - any day now) perhaps you could have picked a better name for the little parties you're having around the country.

the following definitions are not from me, they are taken directly from urbandictionary.com:

teabagging: to have a man insert his scrotum into another person's mouth in the fashion of a teabag into a mug with an up/down (in/out) motion.

or there is this somewhat more colorful definition:

teabag: dipping one's nuts in a chicks mouth, or when the party crashin' asshole passes out, you 'drape' the ballsack over the face.

and if that's not clear enough for you, there's this (my personal favorite):

teabagger: one who slaps another person in the face with their nad sack.

now republicans. if that's what you're gonna be doing down by the river all next week, you might wanna let these people know. and maybe you should ask larry craig and lindsey graham to post a few flyers at their favorite "local pub."

i'm gonna guess, though, that some crusty old white guy somewhere came up with this bright idea (there were plenty at that convention you held last year) and y'all didn't even know it meant that scrotum dropping stuff. and i know – "you're not the right or the republican party," but c'mon, you weren't dropping bag when the last white house guy took a gazillion dollar surplus and pissed it away.

the other thing is this: i'm not sure, but i think during that original boston tea party deal they actually dumped a whole bunch of tea into boston harbor. like, a shitload of it.

in comparison, you look kinda silly standing there waiving your little white sacks around.

nonetheless...teabags up, and good luck!

quote of the day

"Rather than everyone here having to learn Chinese — I understand it’s a rather difficult language — do you think that it would behoove you and your citizens to adopt a name that we could deal with more readily here?

Can’t you see that this is something that would make it a lot easier for you and the people who are poll workers if you could adopt a name just for identification purposes that’s easier for Americans to deal with?”

– betty brown
texas republican state representative

(brown was addressing ramey ko, a representative of the organization of chinese americans, during a meeting of the texas house elections committee.)

the balcony is closed

roger ebert gives bill o'reilly a gigantic thumbs down.

more crazy canucks!

another country province heard from: commenter christopher chimes in to let us know that married heteros and married marys can live together in peace in b.c:

"Just checking in to let you know that all seems to be going well for hetero marriage in British Columbia too.

Despite all the Marys marrying down on the beaches of BC, Michelle and I are still safely in the embrace of the sacrament of marriage endorsed by our Church some 15 years ago.

For whatever reason, we don't feel threatened everytime we pass through the Peace Arch Crossing on our way back from Seattle."

but what do they tell the kids in school?