hey, old friend

sometimes you find an old piece of music that you haven't listened to for years (and i mean 20 years) and it reminds you what a big dork you are (truly) and how deeply you can feel. tonight -- try not to laugh, you probably don't know it anyway -- it's kei's song by david benoit:

david benoit: kei's song

joe watkins can still blow me

back in april, i made this suggestion regarding political talker joe watkins. just to be clear: the offer still stands.

watkins is again on msnbc this afternoon, fumbling and bumbling and not answering david shuster's questions about mccain's flub last night (in milwaukee) saying that "we've drawn down to pre-surge levels" in iraq (pre-surge would be less that 130,000 soldiers -- by august the number is expected to be 140,000, i.e. we have not drawn down to pre-surge levels, nor will we by august.)

when asked directly about this, watkins begins bloviating about how obama hasn't been to iraq. moments later, when asked about it again, watkins bloviates about mccain's service to this country in vietnam. he never once answered the question.

dear joe: this might work when you're standing in front of your 85 parishioners in philadelphia, but when millions are watching, there's at least a few of us who know you're full of crap.

please turn off all cell phones, pagers, and video cameras...

what if you got to church this sunday and there was a pre-show announcement?

"the use of recording devices of any kind is strictly forbidden in the theater...er...church."

yesterday, barack obama found he had another pastor problem: pastor michael pfleger of saint sabina catholic church in chicago. last sunday, in a guest sermon at trinity united church of christ, pfleger mocked and ridiculed senator hillary clinton. nothing subtle about his performance: it was pathetic, and shameful. and it's on youtube!

certainly obama is not responsible for this man's views, or what he says in his sermon. but there is a connection here: pfleger is a long time obama supporter. and until recently, pfleger's endorsement of obama was quoted on the candidate's website.

in march of this year, pfleger was even coming to rev. jeremiah wright's defense, inviting him to to deliver a blessing at saint sabina church, saying, "dr. wright has been shamefully demonized by 30 second sound bites that have tried to re-define him into someone other than who he is." pfleger is now the "victim" of the same 30 second youtube sound bites that "re-defined" wright. oops.

today, in a press conference in milwaukee, john mccain defended hillary clinton, saying that although their views are very different, he has always respected and admired her. the republican nominee standing up for the assumed democratic runner-up. i'm sure it's a position he's happy to be in.

not sure what positions pastor pfleger likes to be in. but he certainly didn't do obama, or the democratic party, any favors.

so the question is this: do we really want to know what's being said in every sermon? the folks listening to pfleger in that youtube video are cheering in support of his views. is it better that we can all watch it? or should this be something at least a little more private? what effect, if any, should / does this have on obama? and why are there no video cameras in john mccain's church?

his master's voice?

an open letter to the purina pet food company

dear purina,

in this ad for your product beggin' strips, you feature a dog getting very excited about the possibility of eating bacon. the dog jumps around and runs through the house looking for bacon, nearly trampling a young child in the process.

and the dog talks. the commercial even ends with the dog jumping up on the owner, licking her face and saying, "i love you, i love bacon, i love you, i love bacon."

the problem here is misrepresentation: what we hear in this ad is obviously not this dog's voice. clearly, this voice-over was done by a much smaller dog: a corgi, a scotty, a lhasa apso. this is not the voice of a full-grown golden retriever.

i cannot watch the film of "my fair lady" without wondering what audrey hepburn actually might have sounded like singing "wouldn't it be loverly." i have trouble watching natalie wood mouth "tonight" while knowing i'm hearing marni nixon.

similarly, it seems unfortunate to me that you couldn't cast a dog in this commercial talented enough to read his own lines.

sincerely,
tony clements

how to give an apology

msnbc's david shuster (who also voices the muppet bert from sesame street) is using his time on air this afternoon to lecture hillary clinton on how to give an apology. (perhaps clinton should look to shuster's own example from earlier this year, when -- after he suggested that clinton's campaign was pimping out daughter chelsea -- he needed 192 other words before he got to "i'm sorry.")

while most of the country (including the obama campaign) has moved past this unfortunate clinton remark from last friday (where she inadvisedly used the assination of rfk as an example of campaigns that have run well into june) shuster and msnbc are still embroiled in an effort to twist clinton's words to mean something much more ominous than she intended.

yes, clinton misspoke. terribly. i don't disagree with that. neither did she. she came out almost immediately and admitted as much. she expressed regret, especially to the kennedy family.

even randell beck, the executive editor of the argus leader -- the person in the room, the person conducting the interview with clinton -- did not read any ulterior motive into clinton's comments. still, the media (mainly msnbc's keith olbermann and others, like shuster) turned her comment into something completely ridiculous and frightening.

the problem now becomes not that clinton made an egregious error, but that people like shuster continue to not only remind us of it, but remind us of their own sickening interpretation of it.

sydney pollack, 1934-2008

sydney pollack died on monday. pollack directed what i think is one of the best films of all time: tootsie. word is that dustin hoffman wanted the film to be more broad (no pun intended) but pollack resisted, wanting instead to place more emphasis on the difficult relationship between hoffman's character and the jessica lange character.

pollack didn't want to be in the film (he ended up playing agent george fields to hoffman's michael dorsey.) once he agreed, the scenes between he and hoffman were supposedly quite similar to actual arguments the two had behind the scenes:

George Fields: Nobody will hire you.

Michael Dorsey: Are you saying that nobody in New York will work with me?

George Fields: No, no, that's too limited... nobody in Hollywood wants to work with you either. I can't even set you up for a commercial. You played a tomato for 30 seconds - they went a half a day over schedule because you wouldn't sit down.

Michael Dorsey: Of course. It was illogical.

George Fields: YOU WERE A TOMATO. A tomato doesn't have logic. A tomato can't move.

Michael Dorsey: That's what I said. So if he can't move, how's he gonna sit down, George? I was a stand-up tomato: a juicy, sexy, beefsteak tomato. Nobody does vegetables like me. I did an evening of vegetables off-Broadway. I did the best tomato, the best cucumber... I did an endive salad that knocked the critics on their ass.

voicemail two

why i save voicemail messages for so long i'm not sure, but i felt like it was time to get rid of the one from some unknown new york agent (how some modeling company got my cell phone number in the first place i'm not sure.) as is true for many things in life, it sounds great at the beginning, but ends up being...well, a little oogy.