one big step

i'm a recovering addict.
if you know me at all, that's not news to you.

i didn't do aa. it's obviously helped a lot of people, but it wasn't for me. the substance abuse recovery group i initially went to was run by a woman named claudia. the first day the group met, claudia told us she was a heroin addict and had been clean and sober for fifteen years.

i couldn't wrap my mind around that. "i won't last fifteen days," i thought. i couldn't imagine living the rest of my life without having a beer at the ballpark, or a glass of wine with dinner, or a hit off the crack pipe at 4 a.m.

but today marks seventeen years for me.
and still, to borrow a turn of phrase, one day at a time.